49 Halloween Jokes And Riddles

27 Jul

27Jul

Q: How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern? A: With an orange pumpkin patch!
Q: How do you know your doctor is a vampire?
A: He draws your blood from your neck with a straw!
Q: What do blondes and Jack-O-Lanterns have in common?
A: Both have blank smiling expressions and are hollow inside!
Q: What kind of shoes do baby ghosts wear?
A: Boo-ties!
Q: Who is the Dracula’s super hero girl friend?
A: Bat Ghoul!
Q: Why did Dracula have to go to jail?
A: Because he robbed the blood bank dry!
Q: Why couldn’t the mummy answer the phone?
A: Because she was all wrapped up!
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
A: Because he didn’t have any guts!
Q: How can you tell if a vampire has a horrible cold?
A: By his deep loud coffin!
Q: What’s the part of a restaurant where vampires don’t suck blood?
A: The non-suckers section!
Q: What did the Mommy ghost say to the baby ghost?
A: Don’t spook until you’re spooken too!
Q: What kind of clothes do the coolest zombies wear?
A: Decay NY!
Q: How do vampires get around?
A: In their bloody mobiles!
Q: How many witches does it take to change a LED light bulb?
A: Depends on what you want to change it into!!
Q: When does a spooky skeleton laugh?
A: When something tickles his funny bone!
Q: What is a Mummies’ favorite type of dance music?
A: Wrap!!!!!
Q: Why aren’t there more famous skeletons?
A: They’re a bunch of no bodies!
Q: What do little trees say on Halloween?
A: Twig or treat!
Q: What do you get when you cross a super computer with a bloody sucking vampire?
A: A know-it-all, that’s really a pain in the neck!
Q: Where did the busy ghost buy his stamps?
A: At the spooky post office!
Q: What did one old witch say to other when she asked for a ride?
A: There’s always broom for one more!
Q: What kind of roads do young ghosts haunt?
A: DEAD ENDS!
Q: Why are black cats such good singers?
A: They’re very meeewsical!
Q: Where do hard-working ghosts go on vacation?
A: The Eerie canal!
Q: What did the witch’s kid want for Christmas?
A: A haunted dollhouse!
Q: What is an evil monster’s favorite food?
A: Ghoul scout cookies!
Q: What do little ghost kids eat for dinner?
A: Spookgetti!
Q: Who did the scary ghost invite to his party?
A: Any old friend he could dig up!
Q: What did one little girl ghost say to other little girl ghost?
A: Do you believe we use to be people?
Q: How do ugly witches tell time?
A: With a witch watch!
Q: What is the best way to talk to Count Dracula?
A: By bat phone!
Q: What did the skeleton say when his brother told a lie?
A: You can’t fool me, I can see right through you!
Q: What does a ghost swim in?
A: DEAD sea water!
Q: What does a ghost put on her breakfast cereal in the morning?
A: A few boonanas and booberries!
Q: What’s a vampire’s favorite feast of the year?
A: Fangsgiving Day dinner!
Q: When do witches like to cook their victims?
A: On Fry-Day!
Q: What’s the difference between a mummy and an Indian?
A: An Indian lives in a teepee, and a mummy is the living dead!
Q: Why shouldn’t you try to hug a spooky ghost?
A: Because all you get is a couple of handfuls of sheet!
Q: What did the full moon vampire say to the other full moon vampire?
A: See you next month!
Q: What do you call two witches living together?
A: Broom-mates!
Q: What does a witch ask for when she is staying in a hotel?
A: Fast broom service!
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton dance at the Halloween party?
A: It had no body to dance with!
Q: What does a cute baby bat say before going to bed?
A: Turn on the dark! I’m afraid of the light!
Q: Do spooky scary monsters eat hot popcorn with their fingers?
A: NO, they eat some poor guys fingers separately!
Q: How do you upset a blood sucking vampire?
A: Go to his house and install a large skylight!
Q: Why do witches need to wear name tags?
A: So, they would know which witch is which!
Q: What is the largest building in Transylvania?
A: The Vampire State Building!
Q: What do you do with a very green monster?
A: Wait until it ripens!

Riddles

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