20 Jokes And Riddles For Adults

27 Jul

27Jul

Q What’s the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
Q. What’s the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.
Q : What’s the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.
Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It’s not hard.
Q.Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it’s worth it!
Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.
Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A .. They don’t have balls to scratch!
Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.
Q. What’s the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball
Q: What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don’t have eyes.
Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Q. What’s a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
Q: What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 pounds.
Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A. The swallow.
Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X’s on the back of the sheep that kick!
Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.
Q. What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.
Q.What is the difference between ‘ooooooh’and ‘aaaaaaah’?
A. About three inches.

Riddles

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