1. What did the tree say to the light bulb?”Hey! Just had a bright idea!”
2. What does the Invisible Man drink at snack time? Evaporated milk.
3. What is a ghost’s favorite fruit? BOOberries.
4. Why was Dracula put in jail? He tried to rob a blood bank.
5. What is a gas station’s favorite type of shoes?Pumps.
6. Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!
7. What kind of place should you never take a dog? To the Flea Market.
8. What do you call a cow in an earthquake? A milkshake!
9. What is black and white and read all over? A newspaper.
10. Where do cows stay when they go on vacation? MOO-tels!
11. Why did the millionaire refuse to move to Alaska? He didn’t want to freeze his assets.
12. What does a frog eat with his hamburger? French Flies!
13. What is a snake’s favourite subject? HISStory!
14. What has four legs, a tail, whiskers and cuts grass? A lawn MEOW-er!
15. Which country is the slipperiest? Greece!
16. Why did the pencil cross the road first? He was the LEADer!
17. There was a green house. Inside the green house there was a white house. Inside the white house there was a red house. Inside the red house there were lots of babies. What is it?A watermelon!
18. What did the toilet say when he was playing cards? “Flush!”
19. If you say it you break it. What is it? Silence.
20. What does an orange do when it takes a test? It concentrates!
21. Tall in the morning, short at noon, gone at night but I’ll be back soon. What am I?A shadow!
22. Why couldn’t the shipmates play cards? The captain was sitting on the deck!
23. What should you do when you see a green alien? Wait until it’s ripe!
24. Why did the duck cross the road? Because it thought it was a chicken.
25. Why did the turkey cross the road? Because Thanksgiving was right around the corner.
26. Why did the baker go to jail? Because he got caught beating the eggs.
27. Why did the crab cross the road? To get to the other the tide.
28. I have 7 children half of them are boys, what is the other half? They were all boys.
29. Where do pirates like to eat? ARR-bys!
30. What kind of flower lives between your mouth and your chin? Two-lips.
31. Why is a giraffe’s neck so long? Because their feet stink.
32. What do you get if you cross a cow and a duck? A creamy quacker!
33. What’s red and mushy and is found between sharks teeth? Slow swimmers.
34. What has 6 eyes but cannot see? Three blind mice.
35. Why do Sharks only swim salt water? Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
36. Who does Frankenstein invite to his party? Anyone he can gobble up!
37. What has a forest with no trees, lakes without water, roads with no cars and deserts with no sand? A map!
38. What do ghosts wear on their feet?BOOts.
39. What fish can help you build a house? A hammerhead shark.
40. Why don’t ducks tell jokes when they are flying? Because they just might quack up.
41. What did the cannibal say after he ate a clown?”That tasted funny!”
42. In what way can the letter A help a deaf lady? It can make her hear.